women want aggressive men
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Dating and aggressive men.
Most women unconsciously seek an aggressive male mate. In women's DNA is a preference for a mate who will protect and provide for her and her children. Most women are naturally attracted to powerful and aggressive men who have proven to be successful. Power is an immediate turn-on for women because it implies extra safety and protection. That is an unconscious prerequisite in women before having sex.
Historically, both male animals and men have had to be aggressive in seeking a mate. One of the primary male hormones that helps in mating is testosterone. It makes males both "horny" and aggressive. Men don't have to butt heads like some male animals do. However, men still need to show their courage and aggression in ACCEPTABLE ways to impress women. The man who can do his acceptable aggressive tactics best, has a better opportunity at getting accepted by the woman he desires.
Guys, "aggressive" does NOT mean grab, hump, grunt, and go to sleep! "Aggressive" means actively going clearly and openly after what you want by all acceptable means. Demonstrating how well you can control resources in daily life is being "aggressive" in a modern civilized way.
Evolutionarily speaking, civilized behavior became fashionable only in very recent times, and men's aggressive acts for getting a woman's attention have been greatly restricted. Today, an acceptable aggressive act that gets a woman's attention is simply walking up to her with an "opening line." In most western countries this is acceptable aggressive behavior for men in public places like a bar, club, or dance hall. This action is usually not acceptable for women to do. That is just one of the many "unwritten rules" on flirting and dating.
It takes a lot of aggressive courage for a guy to approach a new woman in a public place!
Three emotionally powerful things are going on during this simple aggressive act guys are suppose to do bravely when approaching a strange woman. Guys, here is some of what is going on that makes your knees weak:
• First, she can reject you in front of everyone there.
In this approach situation, you give a woman stranger the power to publicly judge you as looking "good and desirable" or as being the worst sleezeball, scumbag, and bag-of-crap in the Universe! And everyone there will see her decision of what you are. That is a scary and powerless feeling! Many guys won't even play that game and just get drunk instead.
• The second thing that makes this approaching-a-woman action scary, is that all the other guys are watching. If she rejects you, then all the guys will see you as a "failed hunter" and chuckle. That is instinctual hostility in their DNA and comes along with a lot of aggression of their own, and a desire to see you fail! This comes in men's DNA from millions of years of competing for breeding rights with the females. This attitude is stupid in today's world, but these instincts are ingrained deeply in the male old brain and come along with the testosterone. Some guys even turn it into a game of "dare" for their buddies so they can see them fail.
• The third thing going on, is that if she rejects you in front of the other women there, you will be seen as a looser and unacceptable to all the other women, too. At your deepest level is the fear that you will never find a mate to produce your offspring and pass-on your DNA. At the conscious level this is ridiculous, but at the DNA level it is a terrifyingly real fear. That fear comes from your old brain that is still wired from millions of years ago!
The old brain (i.e. the limbic system) is what controls our bodily systems such as heart rate, perspiration and breathing. As you approach the new woman, your limbic system will be running wild because of your ancient ancestors' experiences! Be brave and don't panic! Go ahead and confidently approach her walking tall, with gut sucked in, head held high, chest out, and with a slight smile. Incidentally, the smile is a natural body language signal saying, "I won't hurt you." So don't forget to smile, even during your panic attack.
If you use the approach techniques I will describe later, she is probably going to eagerly accept you into her personal space. So if you did read her signals correctly, forget about rejection. She is probably waiting for you! (Of course, don't act, dress, and look like a Neanderthal!)
Summary of Fact 5:
Most women seek a man who is safe, caring, and who has good control of resources to take good care of himself and his family in the future.
In today's civilized world men are limited in how they may demonstrate how aggressive they are. The culture dictates to a large extent how men may display their "alpha maleness aggression". In most western countries it is acceptable civilized aggressive behavior for a man to approach a woman politely and start a conversation with her using an "opening line". She has the option to continue the conversation with him or block it from going further. A civilized man will watch for her signals and follow her desires for him to continue or retreat politely.
The overall signal a woman is looking for in a man's aggressive behavior is how well he is able to protect and care for her and her children. She also is looking for signs of how much he values her and if he is willing to devote his full energy and resources to keeping her safe. This skill in reading men is what helped keep millions of women's ancestors alive long enough to raise some children, and to carryon that skill to today's women.
CommentsLoading...
Hmmm, though this was an interesting read, I don't agree that women are predisposed to seeking aggressive/powerful men. I think women have been conditioned to believe they are inferior to men and, therefore, are in need of men to care for and protect them. Aside from needing men for the purpose of procreation, women have very successfully taken care of and defended themselves (and others), and have achieved success and power, without the help (or protection) of men. I believe that there are other, non-biological psycho-social reasons women find assertive, confident, and powerful men attractive.








Lady_E Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago
Very interesting Hub and yes most women are attracted to Powerful (influential men). However, I'm guessing "aggressive" in your Hub means Confident.
Having said that, there's a thin line b/w both qualities. :)